Name-Calling, The Self-Destructive Dark Art

You ever see a practitioner of the dark arts in popular media? You know, like Skeletor, Ursula, Maleficent, Voldemort, Venjar, Saruman, Mumm-Ra, and whatever gaunt-faced baddies come to mind.

These characters have one thing in common: Name-calling. 🫢

They apply their dark magic through their negative curses, spells, and incantations. Over time, they become corroded from the inside and become villainous. Bags under the eyes and pale skin are also a possibility.

But it’s not foul-language or tough-talk we should be concerned with. It’s the negative feelings that manifest inside us.

Insulting, othering, labeling, categorizing, blaming, externalizing, diminishing, degrading, judging, besmirching, etc. This is dark magic that should not be handled lightly.

What Does This Have To Do With Creativity?

I don’t give a flying 🤬 if you want to use foul language. I don’t care if you want to let someone know what you think. This is about you holding on to negative energies while you’re trying to create something.

This was a problem I had.

Don’t get me wrong. I have never really gotten to a point where I have full-on disliked someone… especially not for an extended period of time. But I have noticed the corroding effect that name-calling can have.

(Leave room for critique and analysis though. Creatives need that.)

Where Does Name Calling Show Up?

Maybe you’ve said someone is a Trumper, snowflake, woke, bully, racist, sexist, tech bro, zealot, communist, crook, elite, and other things I wouldn’t want to drop in your inbox.

It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, I’m referring to how dark magic affects you, the spell caster.

Can you relate? Let’s look at some mundane examples:

They didn’t flush the toilet…[name]
They didn’t call you back…[name]
They didn’t say thank you…[name]
They ate all the chips…[name]
They didn’t vote…[name]
They wasted their money on crap…[name]
They acted like it wasn’t their fault…[name]
They took away your access…[name]
They made you do the dishes…[name]
They left you all the work…[name]
They act all high and mighty…[name]
They don’t know how to play Tonk…[name]

Trust me.
I get it.

And, yes. name-calling can be applied to things as well: This computer sucks, this restaurant is dirty, this city is too noisy, ...etc.

Why Is This A Problem?

Personally, I can tell you that this has been the number one damaging and self-destructive behavior I have ever engaged in. That’s not hyperbole. It led me off my course and has limited my creative potential and wasted a lot of energy.

The world will inevitably exist in ways that you don’t agree with. Don’t waste your time wondering about how things would be better if they would just change or if things were different.

But the world isn’t going to change for you.
Only you will change for you.

Because creativity is not about them, it’s about you.

We Name Call Because It’s Natural

Now don’t be ashamed of name-calling.
It comes from an innocent place, but needs focus.

The mind is a powerful instrument for categorization and discernment. This ability helps us get around in life. It makes sense when trying to figure out if a creature was going to eat us or not, but in modern society it has been the source of unnecessary stress and pain.

We spend far too much energy wondering how or why something doesn’t agree with us. In order to feel better, we often default to a negative framing. Then we label it and hold on to that feeling.

Too often, we’re unable to just let things be or consider that we don’t need to make a judgement. And that’s especially true of character judgements. (I repeat: “critique” is completely different thing that creatives need. I’ll make a post on that later.)

Name-calling not only wastes time, it hurts you in several ways that are mental, physical, spiritual, and social. It’s dangerously toxic to our well being, and yet we do it all the time.

All. The. Time.

Four Things You Can Do To Reduce Name-Calling

Once I realized what was going on, I knew that negative voice in my head needed to stop. I identified four steps you can use to get to a better place:

1. Acknowledge the Situation.

2. Reduce Negative Statements.

3. Increase Positive Statements.

4. Maintain your integrity.

Let’s take a look at the things we need to practice.

1. Practice Acknowledging the Situation and Letting Go

The first step is to start acknowledging and then letting go of the negative responses you’re generating.

Realize that the thing you are thinking about exists and you are choosing to have negative responses and dwell on them.

If there’s something you would actually like to act on, then go ahead and act.

Don’t hold on to the thought though. Decide on what you’re doing or what you’re not doing, and then you keep your energy flowing. Don’t let that negative energy build up and eat away at your soul.

2. Practice Reducing Negative Statements

Now that you’re not dwelling on the negative, you can start by thinking of more neutral responses that don’t involve name-calling. Here are some examples:

That’s how they are.
That’s what they’ve decided to do.
Something has led them to be that way.
Huh. That’s interesting.
Ohhhkay.
Well that’s one way of looking at it.
That doesn’t change who I am.
Very well then.

Whatever the statement(s) may be, keep you feeling good about yourself without ill will.

Because oddly enough, what you say about others really does reflect on you.

3. Practice Creating Positive Statements

Next, practice creating more positive statements.

This means changing what you what you say to be all about your journey and what you can do.

By definition, a positive thought is one that is taking you in the direction that you want to go in. If you have found something is upsetting, you have realized an opportunity to start moving in a direction that appeals to you.

4. Practice To Maintain Your Integrity

Finally, be sure to maintain your personal integrity and values. Negativity has its place, and you have those responses for reasons.That’s fine. But you use those experiences to learn and grow, not to stew over for years.

I know some people in the spiritual space that like to tra-la-la around while things die away. Good for them, but that’s just silly to me. I think we have a lot of good energy that we can be putting to good use.

Keep caring about the things that are important to you and create your world as you see it.

It’s a practice and won’t happen all at once, but over time you will start to see differences. This is not about putting your head in the sand or pretending the world doesn’t exist, it’s about focusing on you and your response to life.

Now You Tell Me

But hey… what do I know.

I tend to see things a certain way now, so I might not be wording everything properly.

But I do know that we can relieve ourselves of name-calling’s burdens.

It’s frustrating your creative flow and you might not even know it.

And before you call me a kook…

Let me know how this sounds to y ou.

P.S. Roasting, cracking jokes, playing the dozens, and riffing on your mama is still done in good-natured fun. Don’t come around here thinking I won’t flame you and be laughing about it later. 🥹😆